The Kardashian Catastrophe (I’ll keep it mild for my Financier’s sake)
I will come back to this, probably this evening.

I read this article with a fanatical sense of righteousness. Marriage is an institution, yes? I thought so and although the justification for it is not my cup of signature cinnamon hot chocolate, I am prepared to take on naysayers and bad mouthers and the Kardashians are a collective bad mouth.

I love the idea of the Kardashians. A pretty big family by any standards these days, made more so by the union of Kardashian and Jenner to add on 2 half siblings and 3 or 4 steps. I like a big family, I want a big family, providing we can afford it without struggling and the Kardashians, as they were prior to their TV coup in 2007 were a genuinely likeable family. Daddy Dash was a big cheese lawyer, defending OJ Simpson after his big scandal, starting his own music company etc etc and he had a hell of an income so he provided for and spoiled his kids, quite rightly. Kris the mom was some kind of a hostess and became a homemaker due to their burgeoning brood. Then, yes, divorce hit, but only after 20 odd years or so. Kris hooked up with another family guy in the hilarious Bruce Jenner and the Calabasos Clan was born. Then we go down hill. Kourtney goes to college and Kim elopes with a music producer whom she didn’t tell her family about and by the time all was revealed, she was well into her third or fourth month of matrimonial not-so bliss. This is where Kim began working to give herself an income and how she became known by the celebs in La-land. Divorce occurs three years later and then a sex tape. Way to go Kim. Meanwhile, Kourtney has a business and communications degree and starts up their store, Khloe is finishing school and Rob is barely out of diapers like the two baby Jenners.

Say hello to Kardashian TV, thank you Ryan Seacrest and a family catapulted to ridiculous heights of ‘fame’ on the backs of a sex tape and a murder trial affiliation. There’s a lot to look up to right there. Now I will not deny, Kim K is an extraordinary business woman, if her blog and biography on the Bio channel are to be believed. At 17, I was more preoccupied with learning off the symbolism behind Patrick Kavanagh and mathematical vectors. It would not have occurred to me to buy pricey stuff and sell it for profit. So we see she possesses brains.

Kim’s harebrained idea of marriage however is something psychologists must be salivating over, however. “I can’t wait to get married” spouted over and over again even while she was with Reggie Bush, some sports person and again while doing the rounds of the guys in LA and Europe with decent bank balances. I do admire her dedication to the happily ever after image but look at her sisters!

Kourtney, easily the most vocally annoying but undeniably the smartest of the KClan, she fell pregnant with her other half the joyously sur-named Disick and just IGNORED the pressure to get married. It’s a piece of paper and alleviated taxes and a ring, if you’re into that. She now has a pretty cute little boy and a reasonably stable relationship with this guy whom neither I nor the Overlord can stand to see on the screen for more than 3 seconds. After the baby was born she had to put with yet more grief from her mother about ‘sealing the deal’ and ‘signing her name’ and fully committing to marriage. Thank you Kourtney for telling your mom to literally F off.  Go on you good thing. And she’s still the Chief Director or something of Dash Stores all over the place so I can look to her as a damn good role model for my girls if they ever stall in years to come.

Khloe is an interesting character as well. Apparently a bit of a hell-raiser in her youth, she got a sack load of press and flack for her weight. No one, it appears, will ever be that perfect nano-fibre line between ‘skinny’ and ‘putting on pounds’. Anyhoo, she had a few guys or whatnot but then met Lamar Odom, an exceptionally mellow NBA guy with a knack for telling her to shut up and she would comply. They got married after 30 days, fair play to them, and now, 3 years on, are happy as pigs in whatnot.

In the heel of all this, Kris Jenner- the mom- decides she might change her name back to Kardashian- hello cash-in!

Ah Kim, you are stunning in that ethereal Jasmine kind of way. I heartily praise your curves and your pride in eating what you like, I really do!!! But I think you need to look to your sisters and mature a bit in the relationship arena. No guy will stick around after being told on the first date that he might be marriage material. If you want a child, adopt. Stop chasing Cupid down because the more desperate you are the more heartache you’ll get.

There we go. In conclusion, I would definitely look to the Kardashians- Kourtney and Khloe- for relationship advice and expertise, but, in my opinion, Kim is not expert and she has a long way to go.


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