Fangs, Gangs and Witchy Wardrobes

I love Harry Potter. I love (now) Sookie Stackhouse. I have a tolerance for Twilight but I don’t love the big screen versions of these literary gems. Okay, I guess Twilight can’t really be called a literary gem. The eight lines I managed to crawl through of the first book made me cry out in frustration at the painful, near comatose, pace of things in Forks, Bella Swan-ville. I watched the first movie, however and enjoyed, so I watched the second and am half interested in watching the third. This is mainly because I like vampires as a genre, not because I found Robert Pattinson as Cullen or Lautner as Jacob at all beguiling. I could easily say the most interesting character in the series is Daddy Swan just because he’s so put upon. Unfortunately, the True Blood series suffers from this same “Long stare, minimum talk” affliction.

Actually, I quite like the first series of True Blood, Sookie is fun, feisty, God-fearing and only faintly simpering. What the hell happened to her in the second series? She turned into a majorly simpering, minorly interesting character so much so that I find her friends Tara and Sam and even Eric more enjoyable. I am determined to sit through the remaining 3 episodes of season 1 and then rent out season 3(because I watched season 2 first) and hope to crikey that she regains her coolness. I read the books after much argument with myself and even then quite recently. Needless to say, I am now an advocate. I read the series in a week. I love Sookie on paper and I love Paquin as an actress and I love Paquin as Sookie in 1, but good baloney, either they put Sookie on Valium or the writer finds her boring because she has lost most of herself on screen. Weep.

I also love Harry Potter. The books. I need to rebuy the series because they are located in Perm-land and I have little hope of retrieving them. As soon as they are installed on my shelves, I will be reading them to Bug and Wednesday and by golly I hope they enjoy them as much as I did and only after we’ve read every single one, in order, perhaps twice, will I perhaps let them watch the movie series. Good God. I will not say I could have done better but I should have been at least a script producer. It took 5 movies for the effects to get truly good, Bellatrix is potentially the most interesting character in the ENTIRE movie series and what the hell was with the werewolf looking like a whippet? Grrrr adaptations and frankly I feel quite a bit let down by the inestimable Rowling in that she lost quite a lot of pizazz of her books. But she’s happy with the adaptations so who am I to judge. RIP Richard Harris because I do not like Gambon. The cores are… affable. Radcliffe has always been wooden and quite lacking in anything. After each line he returns to his rather ‘gawww’ face (there is no other term for it) and I found Harry Book Potter so engaging and cantankerous and… unlucky? that I love him. Screen Potter became someone I’d rather not hang around with and in that case I wish Neville had been the BOY WHO LIVED.      Watson. Ho hum, pretty Watson. A lot of promise and she is the most attractive cast member aside from McGonagall and Draco (who doesn’t love Tom Felton?) but she, like Radcliffe was left looking rather slack jawed once their lines had been delivered.

I have begun experiencing an affiliation to on-screen hand watching. It’s most distracting when this character is giving a passionate speech and all they are allowed do is keep hands by sides in a limp position or gesticulate weakly with the hand on their far side. Hermione should be frustrated, mad, engaged, concentrating and winsome- with the appropriate movements and impulses, not standing with her  thumbs glued to her hips. That goes for all of them. I have nothing to say on Grint. Ron is a rather idiotic if exceptionally interesting character and since no one ever seems very bothered about him it seems the studios left him in the lurch. Wow. This is a rant. Sorry.

I conclusion. I love my Potters, I love my Sookies and I’ll try the Bellas again but please Mr. Producer, stop warping the wonderful worlds of fantasy into Kosher-Hollywood salt. They topped best seller lists because of their oomph. Please let them keep it.

PS the girls wont be reading or watching Sookie or True Blood until at least 16.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s