It’s not that I don’t like movies, because I do. I actually have a toe dipped in most genres apart from 70’s horror, modern horror, Simon Pegg offerings and the endless supply of muscle men movies from the 70’s until the Expendables 2. What I don’t like is boredom on my 52 inch (or thereabouts) TV screen for the guts of 2 hours. Boredom and stuff guaranteed to make me paranoid for weeks case in point; Paranormal Activities.

I like movies with apparent, if not wholehearted, guts; historical stuff (barring war films- yawn), quite a lot of Brendan Frasier, Jason Statham and Dwayne Johnson stuff. I had not considered myself fussy until Daddy-O took the remote and switched on ‘Paul’. A Pegg/Frost buddy comedy of soporific proportions. I don’t like ‘comedy’. I like films that are funny, but I don’t need the tagline comedy. An alien with the voice of a Jewish Canadian in the form of Seth Rogen, taking place in a camper travelling somewhere in the more lush area of America is not something that will turn my crank. At all.

In comparison, I was forced to dvr ‘Agora’ earlier on and then not watch the Lincoln Lawyer outright because the Provider deserves his down time. I like, not necessarily educational, but stimulating entertainment (although I have been known to laugh at American Dad.) Right now, Hubby is cackling his bollock off inside at the glorious adventures of British twits and their spaceship pal. What is it we have in common again??? Coz that sure is hell is NOT IT.

I liked Priest, Killer Elite and admittedly the Expendables 1. I like Stallone, some Schwarzenegger and Jet Li. I like action films, I seriously do. But I like brain (of sorts) behind the brawn not just stunner gets kidnapped, man hired, finds, kills bad’uns and we discover she’s a bad’un herself. KILL ME RIGHT THERE IF I SEE ANOTHER. Like Puss in Boots. WTFing bollock??? I LOVE Shrek. All of them. There’s rarely anything I don’t like about them, but that was one of the worst CGI offerings since ‘Happily Never After (which got a SEQUEL).

Sigh. I guess, looking through our libraries is indicative of personal taste. I am more of an industrial vacuum than a filter. I will read virtually anything and genuinely enjoyed Dan Brown’s publications (apart from the Lost Symbol. That bored me to tears.) I read a lot, I read quickly and it needs to flow unlike a disgraceful amount of crap being flung my way by fellow mothers these days.

I studied Ulysses, the Odyssey and Iliad for Christ sake! I can pick apart the menus from the early Medieval, Renaissance and Classical eras as well as quite a lot of anthropological data from across the globe (mostly revolving around the ancient arenas but I will take medieval to modern Japan very happily.) I’m subscribed to National Geographic and the Times. I need stimulation!! I don’t care about a bunch of futuristic space armies fighting Tyrassic style reptiles or creepy elongated snobby aliens. I tried, a brutal attempt- but goddammit I TRIED.

I watched Clarissa and the King’s cookbook, about a 700 year old, 196 recipe scroll from the time of Richard the 2, think mid-Middle Ages. I was thoroughly entertained. I am currently reading ‘A Time Travellers Guide to Medieval England.” I’ve read The Idiot and the Life of Pi.

PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE ME SOMETHING I CAN GET MY TEETH INTO AND THEN HAVE A MATURE DISCUSSION ABOUT AFTERWARD.

Book clubs are not for me, similarly I find movie clubs quite droll. All I’d like is someone to start writing movies that will get appreciatively funded by studios that will be thought provoking and not just money makers.

I’m taking the TV in a bit and he can go read his bloody Lunar Wolf epic while I settle into a biopic on one of the first female mathematicians and follower of Pythagoras. I do not like Snooki.

The chilli aspect was that I made it, washed it down with a bottle of root beer and am ranting as he laughs his butt off to a STUPID FILM inside while I freeze my bum off in my drafty computer room.

This is more of a ranting Stream of consciousness than a formulated blog, but I’m pregnant, I’m hormonal and my kids are asleep.

Where’s my bloody book? (grumpy)

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